There are three things I want you to learn how to say.
“I love you”
and don’t just say it as an empty phrase,
say it with feeling,
say it to every person who comes to mind when you think of those three little words.
I know it’s scary,
I know it’s difficult,
but open yourself up
and shout it.
don’t say it under your breath,
when you love someone,
whether platonically or romantically,
it deserves to be shouted from every rooftop.
There will be some people in your life
that come in and just wreck everything,
they mess up your plans,
they hurt you,
and make you feel less than what you are,
so please learn how to say goodbye to them.
But I also want you to learn how to say goodbye
to even the people you want to stay.
not everyone stays,
and saying goodbye is like setting someone free,
and it won’t always come easy,
and it won’t always come without heartbreak,
but not everyone stays,
and it will do you a world of good to learn how to tell them
“I am worth it.”
there will be waves of sorrow in your life,
and you will feel as if you were the sand that the tide carries away,
you will feel as if it carries away your worth
it will feel like you are the left over rubble of a building
that had been burned down,
and you will feel less,
but please learn to say these words.
say them in the mirror when you have just woken up,
say them when your lover turns their back on you,
say them when you are opening up the refrigerator
and please, believe them.
You are more than sand that can just be washed away,
and you are more than just a few pieces of broken cement,
you are worth it.
so over putting myself in situations to get fucked over.. truth is every guy i met this year has managed to fuck me over somehow. I put myself out there over and over again, being optimistic just to be let down again and again. It makes me feel like shit about myself and seriously wonder if the problem is me. but ya know what? I think i’m a pretty good catch and if someone can’t see that then why should I want to be with them anyway?
I will wake up at three AM
And I will roll over
Into your arms.
You will rub my back
Until I fall back to sleep.
I will wait for that.
"Do not make
out of people.
This will leave you
missing arms that
damn, you literally were such a huge part of my life it’s so weird to not have you anymore…
Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bands and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.
"Perhaps the hardest thing about losing a lover is to watch the year repeat its days."
i don’t do lonely well
does everything really happen for a reason? does God have a plan set out for us from the moment we’re conceived? What if we make so many mistakes and alter that path… are we then on our own.. completely far away from His plan?? I called Shannon a horrible person… but am I too?… loneliness is literally the worst feeling on this earth. I am lucky to have the best friends I do, and the family I do. but I lost one of the most important people in my life, the one who’s been my number one for 2 years. and I’m not really too sure how to feel about that. I try keeping myself busy, and I act so optimistic to everyone, because sometimes I am, and sometimes I just do it so I can maybe convince myself I am happy. I’ve been trying to convince myself everything happens for a reason- maybe brandon was just meant to teach me a lot about love, and life in general. Maybe he was just someone I’m gonna look back on the first guy I was truly in love with. At the very least, I guess I can say he showed me what real love is supposed to feel like. and hey, who knows what might happen in the future. I’ve been trying to be so optimistic and keep my head up and if things are meant to be then they’ll be, right?..
our highs are amazing but our lows are psychotic and miserable. and it’s to the point that I’m not sure it’s even healthy enough to continue. you don’t make me as happy as you used to. I don’t feel as special as I used to. you’re so much more selfish. I trust you way less which is the cause of all this. you’ve made me insecure and psycho- I know I am, but I can’t really change that because I honestly don’t know how to trust you because I just feel like you’re so damn sketchy. I wish you would go out of your way to make me happy and make me feel like you show me off to your friends. but I don’t ever get that anymore. we bring out the absolute worst in each other and I can’t handle it anymore. it’s so unhealthy I do not know what to do. I love you with all of my heart but this is breaking me. I’m getting pushed so far away you don’t even know. please do something to prove to me that I’m all wrong.
It’s really weird thinking about how every person you walk by has a name and a personality and a group of friends you’ll never know and a messed up family or an awesome family or that they’re in love or that they’re depressed or are having the best or worst day of their life. There are a lot of people around and I’ll hardly know any of them.